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“Are You There God? It’s Me, Your Child”

A common perception of the pastor is that we are to be beacons of hope, unrelenting optimism, at all times. And I will say, that is part of our higher calling as spiritual leaders for a community. We are called to tap into the truths that Christianity provides and root ourselves to the Good News of Jesus. But often, this perception that pastors need to always inspire, always preach the happy go lucky message even when the world is on fire can at its best, feel inauthentic, and at its worst, do damage.
There is a concept called spiritual bypassing which is when we use spiritual practices and words to avoid unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and developmental tasks. It’s a defense mechanism to avoid something deeper within us. Some examples include encouraging someone to not be sad over the death of a loved one because it is part of “God’s plan” - you shouldn’t be sad they’re gone because God needed an angel. Or telling someone to stay in an abusive relationship because God is using your spouse to teach you patience and tolerance. Not to get feisty, but spiritual bypassing is also only offering “thoughts and prayers” when we have the means and resources to actually improve conditions but we choose not to.
The dangers of spiritual bypassing are more than just spiritual. They can cause emotional and mental distress, leading the victim to question their own perception of reality. If enough messaging comes through that everything is good and fine when you know that life is not ok, that will mess you up.
Pastors, when trying to be helpful, can often spiritually bypass the very person needing assistance because we offer cheap hope instead of creating a space for radical vulnerability and honesty. Now, don’t get me wrong. We need the reminder that God loves us, Spirit holds us, and Jesus died for us. But sometimes, we need someone to give us empathy, who affirms that whatever we are feeling is valid, and it’s ok to cry. We need people to hold space for us and sit with us in our pain.
In that spirit of vulnerability and humanness, I want to be honest and vulnerable with you all. The past few years have been incredibly difficult in our world. And yet, the past year seems to be even more trying. And yet, the past 2 weeks have been most heartbreaking of all. We have increasing political vitriol (vit-tree-OL) coming between family and neighbors. There is continued violence and loss of innocent life in the Middle East that is expanding to new countries, and here stateside, we had back to back ferocious hurricanes on par with the damage caused by Hurricane Katrina. So much in the past year has made me question “where are you God?”
How can you let entire cities and families be wiped off the map with unrelenting bombing? How can you let Appalachia, a region already victimized by pharmaceutical companies and the coal industry, literally wash away with entire livelihoods? How did you not hear the screams for help of people clinging to trees and floating on roofs for hours? Have you not heard all the prayers for safety, mercy, support, or aid in all situations? Where are you God?
We are crying out for your mercy and help, and we are not going to settle for the excuse that it is just part of “your plan.” It feels as though the universe is not bending along the arc of Justice, as Martin Luther King Jr said, but that the universe is being held in a vice grip to avoid God’s love and Justice, yeah?
Now, I return to my initial pondering. What is the pastor to do when it feels like the world is succumbing to hell around us, and God feels lost? What is the authentic response of the pastor, and of all Christians, in the face of death that is not cheap grace or spiritual bypassing?
I believe that to be a Christian means to lean into our realness and what it means to be human. In doing so for ourselves, we encourage others to do the same. In our Hebrews passage for today, we are reminded of Jesus, our leader, our savior, who has been tested, who went through life on Earth, going so far as to receive the death penalty, so that he could understand our struggles and what we face, so he could sympathize with our messy humanness.
Jesus modeled for us what it means to be a spiritual being in a human body, engaging with our neuroses and vices and flaws, our fears and our frustrations. God, as Jesus, gives us permission to be messy and not bypass that mess. Jesus is the Lord who has gone ahead of us through the muck, so we wouldn’t be alone when our time comes to walk through it.
I am so grateful that in our Christian tradition, we have scripture that affirms the less than picture perfect parts about what it means to be human. You may have figured it out already because it was our other scripture reading, but we have the Psalms as an example of vulnerable lament. Psalms can be high praise with joyful noise, or can just pierce your heart with the pain and sorrow oozing from the pages. Why God, why God do I have to suffer? How long O Lord will you forget me? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble? These are just some of the examples of human anguish expressed in this book. And someone, 5000 years ago, found these expressions, these wrestlings with God holy, and put them in the Hebrew Bible. And we loved them so much that they stayed in the Christian Bible.
This psalm we read, Psalm 22, directly begs that question: where are you God? I’m seeking your presence. Look at me! Not only is our author seeking God, but they are calling without getting a message back. They are not doing well. They are scorned and despised, they are targeted by enemies, and they’re in such anguish that I think they’re dying. Considering all this, why won’t God answer? I am sure there are people on the earth right now who feel this exact way, as I am sure we have people in this room and online who can relate.
The gift of the Psalms is how they bring attention to the times of despair that are part of the journey of faith. They give us permission to bring our pain to God, whether it is our grief, anger, or anxiety. We can bring our complaints about God, to God, where we question what the heck is happening. And that is ok. God can handle all our feelings. I don’t claim to know the mind of God, but I feel like this isn’t something God is offended by, because God, through Jesus, knows our suffering.
God knows the aches and frustrations and fears and annoyances with being human, and God wants to create that space of vulnerability and empathy with you. Hebrews 4:13 said that we are laid bare before God. But this isn’t a kind of nakedness that would have you cowering for clothing. Being laid bare before God is not some sort of defense trial where every part of you is examined for guilt. It is an invitation to authenticity and vulnerability with the being who created you and loves you so incredibly much. To be stripped naked metaphorically and bare all of yourself before God shows that God is a God who sees. God sees and responds when we are tested by life. As I said earlier, good pastors create space for empathy, wrestling, and big emotions during trying times. That is what being naked is about. Feeling safe to be your full self however you show up in that moment. God is not in the business of spiritual bypassing and cheap hope.
Now, why did I pair Psalm 22 and Hebrews 4 today? It is because we can hold our deepest lament and highest praise together. We can take our pain and suffering and boldly cry out to God, wondering where art thou, just as Jesus did on the cross - Abba Abba, why have you forsaken me?
And yet, we can still believe that Jesus is good. God’s promise of salvation and restoration to wholeness is fulfilled through him, and nothing can take that away. When we are weak and weary, there is a place we can go for rest, and no, I’m not talking about the Village People’s YMCA. I’m talking about that throne of grace. Hebrews 4:16 says that when we approach Jesus with boldness, with truthfulness, we receive mercy and grace in our times of need. God was, is, and always will be with us in our suffering.
Now, this duality doesn’t come without its challenges. I know for me, I can know in my head and say that God is present in all situations and in all suffering, but it doesn’t always feel that way in my heart. So if you’re like me, and you also struggle with this tension, I have some words that I hold tight to that help me know God’s presence in my heart.
My friend and fellow UCC pastor, Rev. Katie O’Dunne said this the other day: “Faith isn’t about certainty. It is the courageous decision to embrace uncertainty in pursuit of the things most meaningful to us.” repeat.
When life feels heavy, and you question where God is, my answer to you is this: Your uncertainty, your questioning, your crying out lament to God is faithful. Embracing the uncertainties in your life, in your spiritual walk, in your relationships, is actually the definition of faith. Faith is what is left when everything you knew and believed has been turned upside down. When you pray “where are you God, it’s me! You said you loved me! You said you loved the world! What gives!” and you continue to pursue God, that is faith.
And let’s not forget the second part of that quote: we choose to be faithful in the face of uncertainty so we can pursue what is most meaningful to us. Do not let uncertainty rob you of doing what is right, what is meaningful, what brings you joy. Lean into it. Do not let the uncertainty of these trying times prevent you from following the path of Jesus, of working towards creating heaven on earth, leading with love, giving grace and mercy, and as Mr. Rogers said, being a helper in times of trouble.
Let your uncertainty be a motivator to form deeper connections in your community, worship here at church, and create grounding practices for yourself.
Look for what you are able to do in your 6 feet of influence, and do it. I think God encourages us to take a little agency and initiative to make life better for those around us. The more you live into embodying Jesus and living a life that points to the love of God, the easier it is to see God in the world and know God is present in here (touch head) and here (touch heart).
There is nowhere that love cannot reach. There is nowhere that God’s presence cannot be called into. There is nowhere that you cannot root yourself to hold fast in trying times. No matter what, faith will lead us home. Amen.
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