Two weeks ago, a handful of us here at the church attended a justice summit run by the U.C.C..  After a keynote address on, “The Politics of Jesus,” Craig and I went to a Braver Angels session on depolarization.

And I have to confess to you that in spite of the fact that the title for the workshop was literally, “Depolarizing Ourselves," I went to that workshop thinking I was going to learn some techniques for depolarizing others. I did.

I went in the hopes of getting people on the other side to act more reasonably, listen more openly, and maybe even vote more - dare I say - rationally. I did not sign up with any intention of doing my own work because I didn’t think I was part of the problem. I mean I’m already reasonable, open minded, and rational…right? At least I thought I was.

But unfortunately, the first thing they did was give us a quiz to determine how polarized we actually are, and friends, let’s just say I did not pass with flying colors. It’s short, so I’m going to walk you through it and you can see if you do any better. Ok? Question #1:

1. How often do I find myself thinking about “those people” on the other political side without much regard for the variation among them?  Frequently  Sometimes   Never

I got out my number 2 pencil and circled “Frequently.”

2. How often do I find myself assigning mainly self-serving or negatives motives to the other group—and mainly positive motives to my group? 

Not always, but frequently

3. How often do I tend to focus on the most extreme or outrageous ideas or people on the other side, thereby making it hard to see how a reasonable person could remain in that group?  

I read the news, so, you know, frequently    

4. How often do I find myself comparing the worst people on the other side with the best people on my side? 

Again with the news. Frequently.

5. How often do I feel a “rush” of pleasure with friends when we ridicule those crazies on the other political side?

Ok, not frequently. But definitely sometimes; like every morning when I watch clips from The Daily Show and Stephen Colbert and share the best bits with my family. Is every morning frequently? Yeah, ok, alright. Frequently.

And the last question:

6. Which of the following is closest to my overall emotional attitude towards the majority of people who support the other side? 

Hate. They are enemies out to destroy the country.   

No…I wouldn’t say that…not the majority of people.

Disdain. They are ignorant and should know better.

Mmm…I don’t know, maybe.

Pity. They are well-meaning but duped.

Yeah…closer.

Basic respect. They make contributions even if they are mostly off base. 

Kind of… I guess.

Respect and appreciation. I believe the majority of people on the other side make unique and necessary contributions to our country. 

(Sigh)…I don’t know.

What I do know is that I scored a 12 out of 14 on the polarization scale. If this were a Cosmo quiz, I’m pretty sure I would have scored an F for frequently. And if I went down to the little box that elaborates on your score, it would probably say something like:

“Hey lady up there on your high horse, maybe it’s time to dismount and take an actual Conservative out for coffee. How’s about you get over yourself and maybe get into it with someone outside your deep blue, coastal elite, soy-latte sipping bubble. Bisous!”

This wasn’t a cosmo quiz, so no one said that to me. But it was a Southern New England U.C.C. event about politics and faith, so I cracked a joke with my seat mate about how hard it was going to be to do this de-polarizing work surrounded as we were by the most liberal of liberals - amiright? - only to learn that she herself was a Catholic lay woman.

Such a devout Catholic, in fact, that she actually worked for her church. She was there with her husband, who was the U.C.C. pastor of a purple church out on the cape. Turns out that she was looking at this upcoming election as a choice between the lesser of two evils and she was my partner for the next hour and a half.

Huh, I thought, this could get awkward. But let me tell you, with the help of the facilitator, we went on to have the most tender, curious, and compassionate conversation - not about who was right or who was wrong on any one issue - but about how much the divisive rhetoric in our country has distorted complex issues that demand nuance into wedge issues that have broken our families, our communities, and our hearts.

She was a truly lovely and deeply thoughtful person. I believe the conversation was healing for both of us and when I saw her in the parking lot at the end of the day, I let her know that speaking with her was the highlight of the summit for me.

I now wish I had more opportunities for that type of conversation, and I can’t help but wonder how often my own prejudices and preconceived notions of what is right and who is wrong may have shut down a conversation or killed a connection before it ever even had a chance to begin.

I read a story like this one about the disciples and I see more of myself in them this morning then I care to admit. And maybe you do too.

We’re back in the gospel of Mark this morning and Jesus is in the middle of giving his disciples a lesson in humility. They have been arguing amongst themselves about which one of them is the best and in answer, Jesus says, listen chuckleheads: “Whoever wants to be first must be last of all and a servant of all.” And then to drive home his point, he picked up a little kid, and said, “whoever welcomes a little child like this welcomes me.”

Jesus’ message is clear. He wants them to focus on how they can welcome and serve others as his disciples rather than lord themselves over others because they are his disciples. And in response they confess that they just messed up…again. They have just called out a man for casting out demons in the name of Jesus, simply because he was not one of them.

Take a look back at the scripture. “We tried to stop him because he was not following,” (….who?…what does John say?) “We tried to stop him because he was not following us.” Notice that the problem here was not that this man wasn’t following Jesus. He was.

In fact he was better at following Jesus then they were since he could actually cast out demons, whereas the last time they had tried, they had failed. This man was following Jesus just fine. The problem was that he wasn’t following them.

The disciples wanted this random to take a number and get in line. They were here first and they hadn’t vetted him yet. The disciples called this man out simply because he wasn’t one of them. Period. Full stop. He wasn’t approved by them, elected by them, or controlled by them. He wasn’t doing things their way or with their permission.

Jesus? …Jesus had nothing to do with it.   

And my goodness, is that not a perfect example of our tendency, as Christians on all sides, to mistake our way of living out the truth - our beliefs and traditions and norms - for the truth itself? Is this not a perfect example of our tendency to mistake our way of being Christian for the right way to be Christian or the only way?

And friends, I know we don’t burn people at the stake for taking communion the wrong way or baptizing people the wrong way or interpreting scripture the wrong way…. at least we don’t any more … but even after all of these years I bet we could all dredge up a story about a time we were shamed or shunned - or worse, shamed and shunned someone else - for not doing things the way we do them around here, for getting it wrong, for speaking out of turn, for expressing an opposing viewpoint, supporting an opposing candidate, being different or doing something out of order.

And here is the thing - the thing Jesus is warning us all against lest we find a millstone lying around here with our name on it- the moment we do that we create an “us” and a “them,” a hierarchy of people who get it vs. those people who need to get their act together, a group who belongs and a group we somehow believe we can leave out in the cold.

Which doesn’t make “those people” feel welcome or draw them toward God’s love and mercy. All that kind of judgment does is hurt people and push them further away.

Thankfully, Jesus has much lower standards than we do. “Look,” he says, “Whoever is not against us is for us”…even those who don’t know what you know or believe what you believe or do things the way you do them. “For truly I tell you, whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because you bear the name of Christ will by no means lose the reward.”

Again, my friends, notice who is giving who the water. Who is living out the good news? Who is not losing the reward? Not Jesus’ disciples, but the ones going out of their way to serve his disciples, welcome them, show them kindness and mercy regardless of their differing beliefs or affiliations. It would seem that Jesus is much more concerned with right action than right belief when it comes to rewarding people.

Speaking of which, let’s talk about that reward for a moment and it’s opposite. Let’s talk about the kingdom of God vs. the flames of hell. It’s hard not to take these words literally when Jesus is speaking so viscerally about cutting off hands and plucking out eyeballs lest we find ourselves in that place where the worm never dies and the fire is never quenched. But take a breath and try to understand that Jesus is using hyperbole here to get our attention.

When Jesus talks about the fires of hell or the kingdom of God, he is not talking about a place down there where you’ll go when you die if you’re bad or a place up there where you’ll go if you’re good. He is talking about the sort of world we create for ourselves and others in the here and now.

The word for Hell here is Gehenna. It was an actual place in Jesus’ time, the name of the city dump that lay just outside the walls of Jerusalem where worms turned through the compost and trash was thrown into the fire day and night. Not a pleasant place, to be sure.

And the “Kingdom of God” Jesus spoke of, where does he locate that? Jesus said, “the Kingdom of God is (where?)… within you.” Friends the “Kingdom of God” that Jesus taught us to pray for and work toward is right here if we want it to be. It is ever and always as close as our willingness to live it into being.

We have a choice. We can choose to love and serve and welcome others till we create a heaven on earth where everyone is safe and fed and well, or we can judge, exclude, and withhold from others, until our collective lives look like Gehenna, a place where the fire never stops burning because we never stop feeding it with all the people we have discarded and the relationships we have destroyed.

“Cut that out!” says Jesus. Stop focusing on where other people get it wrong and instead focus on yourself - your hands, your feet, your eyes. Your job, your only job when it comes to judging, is to work on you.

Friends, we can use what the good Lord gave us to make life miserable for other people or - hear Jesus out - we can be like salt. We can be people who enhance the lives of others by bringing out their best when we call them in rather than call them out. “Enough with the blame and the shame,” says Jesus.

Be someone that all people - but most especially “those people” - want to have at their table - because of your open mind and open heart. Be someone that all people - but most especially “those people” - wouldn’t want to live without, any more than they’d want to live without salt.

I’m not saying you can’t disagree with people on the other side. You can and in many cases you should. But you can be someone who speaks your truth with love and respect and that love and respect can make all the difference in the world.

At that Braver Angels workshop, my seat mate and I did not shy away from the hard stuff. We went right for abortion. And precisely because there was love and respect between us from the start, there was room for nuance. That nuance opened up space for a real conversation that was a relief to my soul and helped us find some common ground. It was so good to be able to talk about something difficult and feel like there was some grey around it. It was so good to be able to talk with humility about what we knew and didn’t know.

And I’ll admit that at first, there was a part of me that was nervous about compromising in any way, because I was talking to somebody on “the other side.” But I quickly realized that it is specifically that kind of “us” versus “them” thinking that is keeping us locked in hell. Instead, because we were assuming the best about each other’s character and motives rather than judging each other before we even opened our mouths, that conversation felt a little bit like heaven.

Friends, that kind of respectful listening, that’s what the kingdom of God feels like. That kind of openness, that’s what the kingdom of God looks like. That kind of peace and connection, that’s what letting the kingdom of God in can do, for all of us, on all sides. That’s the kind of world that I want to leave to our little ones for everyone’s sake, and I hope, with God’s help, that you do too. Amen.